Well, almost three months have passed since I last updated this blog. Our baby girl will be 9 months old on Saturday! I've been told over and over again just how fast the first year goes by, and I am finally realising those people were all right.
Here are some of the highlights of the last couple of months:
- We have a crawler! For about a month or so now, Lily has been zooming all over the house. The best part? When her Daddy walks in the door after a day's work, Lily lights up and follows him around and around the house. I knew before how much of a Daddy's girl she was, but now Brian actually believes me. :)
- She looooves bath time! I am now brave enough to bathe her on my own (until fairly recently, baths were Daddy's thing) and as soon as the tub comes out, she squeals and kicks with delight. Splashing is now part of the fun, and she loves to try to pick up her rubber ducky... with her mouth. Poor baby girl hasn't figured out that if she only brought her ducky to her mouth, she wouldn't have to get a mouthful of water each time!
- Lily is trying to pull herself up on everything! Couches, legs, tables, crib, playpen... anything she can pull up on is fair game. We bought a musical toy table which is her absolute fave these days. Don't touch the little plastic toy conductor though! She'll scream if you put him back on the table after she's thrown him as far as her little chubby arms will let her.
- Lily gives kisses all the time. When she is really excited and forgets who's holding her, she'll give Brian a big slobbery kiss.. then turn away in shock at how prickly his goatee is.
- Feeding time is becoming more fun. Lily hasn't mastered finger foods yet, but loves to try feeding herself Cheerios... even if her focused attempts just end up with Cheerios all over the floor. Soon her Daddy will get to feed her meat for the first time. As a vegetarian, this isn't something Mommy's ready to feed her just yet!
I am getting increasinly anxious about the doomed return to work in September, but am trying to enjoy the precious time I still have left to spend with my little baby girl. I feel so lucky to have had all of this time with her, and even more grateful that I'll only have to return to work 4 days/ week. It is something I am not ready to give much serious thought to yet, but I am hoping (or, at least, telling myself) that with time, it won't be so bad. She will survive, as will I.
Our baby girl has just woken from a nap, so I must go. I will be greeted with a huge gummy grin- the kind that makes her cheeks push up so high that her little eyes squint. Boy do I love that little goof.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Happy Un-Birthday to You
So the time has come. The countdown to Lily's un-birthday has begun. In a few short days, my precious girl will be 6 months old. Times like these make you think of the bigger picture, of the life cycle we go through and of how, no matter how hard you try, time is one thing you cannot slow down. We were our parents' babies and they were their parents' babies, and now we've grown up and had babies of our own. In the blink of an eye these babies will be toddlers, then those toddlers will be teens, and the days of avocadoes in fine hair and squeals of delight in the early, wee hours of the day will be gone. Those teens will soon move out, find love, and have babies of their own. Each step is a miracle and a wonder in itself, but each step is a fleeting moment, and before you know it, you're on to the next.
Life is defined by these wee moments though. Lily is giving us such moments of joy, that it's almost incomprehensible to think that we have a lifetime of these moments to look forward to. A big drooly grin, with squinted eyes, at the mere sight of us. The focus and determination to pick up a toy just so. Little tiny toes moving just as often as the perfect wee fingers do. Feeling a soft, velvety cheek press against your own, then bulge as a smile erupts.
When I bring my face close to Lily's, she now reaches out and touches each part of it, her eyes wide with wonder. It is like she is seeing me for the first time. If I lean in and kiss her neck, she giggles. This game can go on and on. And on and on.
People say being a Mommy is the hardest "job" there is. Right now, I just feel so very fortunate to be Lily's Mommy. This is by far the best "job" I've ever done.
Life is defined by these wee moments though. Lily is giving us such moments of joy, that it's almost incomprehensible to think that we have a lifetime of these moments to look forward to. A big drooly grin, with squinted eyes, at the mere sight of us. The focus and determination to pick up a toy just so. Little tiny toes moving just as often as the perfect wee fingers do. Feeling a soft, velvety cheek press against your own, then bulge as a smile erupts.
When I bring my face close to Lily's, she now reaches out and touches each part of it, her eyes wide with wonder. It is like she is seeing me for the first time. If I lean in and kiss her neck, she giggles. This game can go on and on. And on and on.
People say being a Mommy is the hardest "job" there is. Right now, I just feel so very fortunate to be Lily's Mommy. This is by far the best "job" I've ever done.
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Night Owl
Sleep. It's one of those things that you don't realise the value of until you lose it.
For the last couple of months, Lily has been a fantastic sleeper. Often she'll sleep from about 8:30 pm right through until 7 in the morning, wake to be fed, then sleep again until 8:30 am. I've been saying we're really lucky, but until last night, I didn't realise just how lucky we were.
Last night was a helluva night! Perhaps we've reached the teething stage? Who knows. All we know is that until 4:00 this morning, Lily would wake within 20 minutes of falling asleep. Eventually we dragged the swing over to the couch, put her in that, and I slept on the couch to the sound Fur Elise playing on the swing. I don't think I ever want to hear that tune again. She let us get a much needed 3 hours' rest.
Fingers are crossed that tonight is better. I don't know how I would function if every night were like our last.
For the last couple of months, Lily has been a fantastic sleeper. Often she'll sleep from about 8:30 pm right through until 7 in the morning, wake to be fed, then sleep again until 8:30 am. I've been saying we're really lucky, but until last night, I didn't realise just how lucky we were.
Last night was a helluva night! Perhaps we've reached the teething stage? Who knows. All we know is that until 4:00 this morning, Lily would wake within 20 minutes of falling asleep. Eventually we dragged the swing over to the couch, put her in that, and I slept on the couch to the sound Fur Elise playing on the swing. I don't think I ever want to hear that tune again. She let us get a much needed 3 hours' rest.
Fingers are crossed that tonight is better. I don't know how I would function if every night were like our last.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Stick to What Works!
I am learning one key lesson: if it ain't broke, don't fix it!
Our routine lately at nighttime has been that I feed Lily around 7 pm, she plays, then I feed her again around 8:30 and we swaddle her and put her in her swing. She falls asleep and gets into a nice deep sleep while we're able to have a bit of time to relax and watch a movie. Around 10 pm I feed her again while she sleeps, and she then goes in her crib, and we follow shortly. This has been working fantastic, and lately she's been sleeping right through until 8 am!
As a new mom, you get ALL sorts of advice (not always wanted). So, last night I thought that it was about time we stop relying so much on the swing. After her 8:30 feed, I rocked and sang to her and put her down in her crib. She woke up a few minutes later, Brian went in, and got her settled. Fantastic I thought! I'll feed her again at 10 and then we'll all be able to go to sleep. Who needs the swing anyway?!
Well at about 9:45 pm I could hear her stirring, but wanted to see if she'd go back to sleep on her own. Five minutes before I was about to feed her, we hear this screaming cry, much like the cry we heard after her shots. Now, Lily's not a crier, so it's always alarming the occasional time she does cry. We tried to get her back to sleep but it wasn't working, so brought her back out to the living room to be with us and where there was a bit of light. She calmed down after a little while and was her happy, cheerful self.
I think she'd woken up in the pitch black room and realised she was all by herself and got scared. This never happens when she's out with us in her swing. So, why did we bother? She sleeps great. We sleep great. Why mess with that?
Fortunately, she did sleep right through until 8 am once we got her down around 11 pm, so I can't complain, but the lesson of the day? If it's working, go with it. When it stops working, that's when you know to change.
Our routine lately at nighttime has been that I feed Lily around 7 pm, she plays, then I feed her again around 8:30 and we swaddle her and put her in her swing. She falls asleep and gets into a nice deep sleep while we're able to have a bit of time to relax and watch a movie. Around 10 pm I feed her again while she sleeps, and she then goes in her crib, and we follow shortly. This has been working fantastic, and lately she's been sleeping right through until 8 am!
As a new mom, you get ALL sorts of advice (not always wanted). So, last night I thought that it was about time we stop relying so much on the swing. After her 8:30 feed, I rocked and sang to her and put her down in her crib. She woke up a few minutes later, Brian went in, and got her settled. Fantastic I thought! I'll feed her again at 10 and then we'll all be able to go to sleep. Who needs the swing anyway?!
Well at about 9:45 pm I could hear her stirring, but wanted to see if she'd go back to sleep on her own. Five minutes before I was about to feed her, we hear this screaming cry, much like the cry we heard after her shots. Now, Lily's not a crier, so it's always alarming the occasional time she does cry. We tried to get her back to sleep but it wasn't working, so brought her back out to the living room to be with us and where there was a bit of light. She calmed down after a little while and was her happy, cheerful self.
I think she'd woken up in the pitch black room and realised she was all by herself and got scared. This never happens when she's out with us in her swing. So, why did we bother? She sleeps great. We sleep great. Why mess with that?
Fortunately, she did sleep right through until 8 am once we got her down around 11 pm, so I can't complain, but the lesson of the day? If it's working, go with it. When it stops working, that's when you know to change.
Friday, January 8, 2010
4 Months!
Wow, I am awful at updating this! Lily was 4 months old on Tuesday, and I've barely written in this blog since she was born. Maybe it's because I am just bad at blogs, or perhaps because I'm simply busy these days- busy feeding Lily, going for walks, meeting friends, doing laundry, changing diapers, laughing, smiling, trying to fit in a bit of exercise, giving tickles to my little girl, watching my angel sleep, wondering what Life Before Lily was really like... Life as Lily's mommy is full of challenges, but never before have I known the joy I feel as a mommy.
Lily rolled from her back to her tummy for the first time yesterday, and we couldn't have been prouder! Luckily when I noticed Lily was looking like she may roll over, I ran and grabbed the camera and caught it on video! Then, beaming, I called her Daddy right away to share the good news. I was bummed he missed it, but at least he saw it on video. She did it again right after, but hasn't since. She'll figure out that it wasn't just an accident soon enough. :)
She is such a happy little baby. Lately she has been letting me sleep 9 or 10 hours straight each night, which is fantastic! I am sleeping more now than I did when I was working. :)
We tried putting tiny little Lily in her monstrous room and massive crib one night. I barely slept, and she woke up in the middle of the night (not like her). Needless to say, Mommy wasn't quite ready to let her go, and she was back in her bassinet, right beside our bed, the very next night. It's amazing what goes through your mind as a Mommy after a simple act of moving your child into another room to sleep: Is this the beginning of an entire lifetime of slowly letting go, of letting your child do things only because you know it'll be best for them, while every part of you aches against it? Will the worrying ever stop, or will I be sneaking into my teenager's room at night, checking that she is sleeping ok? Somehow I don't think it will ever end. I read the Robert Munsch book recently, I'll Love You Forever, and understand now that once a Mother, always a Mother.
"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be."
Lily is napping in her crib unswaddled right now, which is new. Up until now she's typically napped in her swing while I've been home. I thought I'd try having her nap in her crib at least when I am home, and so far (20 minutes later!), so good.
We toured a daycare centre this morning and I was pleasantly surprised. The thought of leaving her in someone else's care terrifies me, but seeing how happy the children were and how obviously completely in love the workers are with the kids made me feel a lot better. Like everywhere else in Victoria, we're on a long waiting list, but are crossing our fingers that we'll get in there sooner than later.
We did a 3 month photo shoot with the fabulous Russell of Davidoff Photography, and are thrilled with the photos. He is such a patient guy and is really great to work with. Here are a few:
Life is good. Brian has a week or so of holidays to use within the next few months, so we are looking forward to spending some quality time together as our little family. Brian is an amazing Daddy, and already I see a special bond between him and his daughter that Lily and I do not share. I knew years ago how lucky I was to have him in my life, and I know Lily will know very soon how very lucky she, too, is.
Lily rolled from her back to her tummy for the first time yesterday, and we couldn't have been prouder! Luckily when I noticed Lily was looking like she may roll over, I ran and grabbed the camera and caught it on video! Then, beaming, I called her Daddy right away to share the good news. I was bummed he missed it, but at least he saw it on video. She did it again right after, but hasn't since. She'll figure out that it wasn't just an accident soon enough. :)
She is such a happy little baby. Lately she has been letting me sleep 9 or 10 hours straight each night, which is fantastic! I am sleeping more now than I did when I was working. :)
We tried putting tiny little Lily in her monstrous room and massive crib one night. I barely slept, and she woke up in the middle of the night (not like her). Needless to say, Mommy wasn't quite ready to let her go, and she was back in her bassinet, right beside our bed, the very next night. It's amazing what goes through your mind as a Mommy after a simple act of moving your child into another room to sleep: Is this the beginning of an entire lifetime of slowly letting go, of letting your child do things only because you know it'll be best for them, while every part of you aches against it? Will the worrying ever stop, or will I be sneaking into my teenager's room at night, checking that she is sleeping ok? Somehow I don't think it will ever end. I read the Robert Munsch book recently, I'll Love You Forever, and understand now that once a Mother, always a Mother.
"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
My baby you'll be."
Lily is napping in her crib unswaddled right now, which is new. Up until now she's typically napped in her swing while I've been home. I thought I'd try having her nap in her crib at least when I am home, and so far (20 minutes later!), so good.
We toured a daycare centre this morning and I was pleasantly surprised. The thought of leaving her in someone else's care terrifies me, but seeing how happy the children were and how obviously completely in love the workers are with the kids made me feel a lot better. Like everywhere else in Victoria, we're on a long waiting list, but are crossing our fingers that we'll get in there sooner than later.
We did a 3 month photo shoot with the fabulous Russell of Davidoff Photography, and are thrilled with the photos. He is such a patient guy and is really great to work with. Here are a few:
Life is good. Brian has a week or so of holidays to use within the next few months, so we are looking forward to spending some quality time together as our little family. Brian is an amazing Daddy, and already I see a special bond between him and his daughter that Lily and I do not share. I knew years ago how lucky I was to have him in my life, and I know Lily will know very soon how very lucky she, too, is.
Friday, November 13, 2009
10 weeks tomorrow!
I am awful at updating this blog! I guess life with a newborn really makes you adjust your priorities... update the blog, or sit down with a cuppa tea and put my feet up?... Life is busy!
Lily is an absolute delight. She will be 10 weeks old tomorrow (eek!) and we cannot believe how fast she is changing in front of our eyes. I am going to have a tough time as she gets bigger- whenever she outgrows an outfit, I feel sad. Thus is the life of a mommy, I guess.
Lily smiles and laughs a lot now, and loves talking to her Daddy. They have secret conversations all the time, and I think they're plotting the games they'll have when she's bigger in bugging Mommy. They are going to be a dangerous pair.
Here's our happy baby girl:
I am adjusting to life as a mom. It's a challenge, but seems to get a little easier each day. Lily usually only needs one feed a night now, and often has slept right through, so it definitely helps my sanity that I am no longer sleep deprived. Her smiles and giggles help too- who can resist a little baby gummy grin looking up at you?
Some things I've learned so far:
- when you are running late and just about to get out the door, and have the baby over your shoulder, do not go near anything that isn't waterproof. Let's just say that Lily has fun puking on walls, picture frames, and wardrobes. Her timing is always impeccible, and she always follows it up with a big smile and a laugh.
- you will never walk so fast to Starbucks as you do when you first leave your baby to "get some peace." I have taken 2 walks without Lily (she is still refusing a bottle) as I insisted I wanted some "me" time. I of course walked as fast as I could, and couldn't stop thinking about her the entire time. Sigh... Was she sad I'd left her? Of course not. Her and Daddy had a blast.
- if breastfeeding, you'll feel like a cow in the beginning. But it does get better!
- somehow you survive with drinking out of glasses that just go through the dishwasher, yet any baby bottles/ pumps will need to be sterilized frequently, or you'll constantly worry your baby'll get sick. Just one of the many neurotic things you do as a new mother.
- strangers like to touch other people's babies. Not cool when there's a flu pandemic.
- love has a whole new meaning.
Lily is an absolute delight. She will be 10 weeks old tomorrow (eek!) and we cannot believe how fast she is changing in front of our eyes. I am going to have a tough time as she gets bigger- whenever she outgrows an outfit, I feel sad. Thus is the life of a mommy, I guess.
Lily smiles and laughs a lot now, and loves talking to her Daddy. They have secret conversations all the time, and I think they're plotting the games they'll have when she's bigger in bugging Mommy. They are going to be a dangerous pair.
Here's our happy baby girl:
I am adjusting to life as a mom. It's a challenge, but seems to get a little easier each day. Lily usually only needs one feed a night now, and often has slept right through, so it definitely helps my sanity that I am no longer sleep deprived. Her smiles and giggles help too- who can resist a little baby gummy grin looking up at you?
Some things I've learned so far:
- when you are running late and just about to get out the door, and have the baby over your shoulder, do not go near anything that isn't waterproof. Let's just say that Lily has fun puking on walls, picture frames, and wardrobes. Her timing is always impeccible, and she always follows it up with a big smile and a laugh.
- you will never walk so fast to Starbucks as you do when you first leave your baby to "get some peace." I have taken 2 walks without Lily (she is still refusing a bottle) as I insisted I wanted some "me" time. I of course walked as fast as I could, and couldn't stop thinking about her the entire time. Sigh... Was she sad I'd left her? Of course not. Her and Daddy had a blast.
- if breastfeeding, you'll feel like a cow in the beginning. But it does get better!
- somehow you survive with drinking out of glasses that just go through the dishwasher, yet any baby bottles/ pumps will need to be sterilized frequently, or you'll constantly worry your baby'll get sick. Just one of the many neurotic things you do as a new mother.
- strangers like to touch other people's babies. Not cool when there's a flu pandemic.
- love has a whole new meaning.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Finally an Update!
Well, it's taken me more than a month to update this blog. What can I say? Life's been a little busy. :)
Our beautiful little girl arrived on September 5, eleven days early. I'd been to the doctor's that day and then was sent to the hospital, thinking my water may have broken. Both told me no, and that there didn't seem to be any signs of labour. Phew! Brian and I went out for dinner that night, partly me celebrating that our little one wasn't arriving early (I would have been happy to go overdue!) and what do you know it, we order our food and GUSH! My water breaks at the table!
Lillian Claire arrived at 1:05 pm the next afternoon. Here is a very condensed version of her arrival- when I have more time I will write a more detailed story for our baby girl!
Wednesday, September 2: had dr's appointment and dr thinks we have another 2 weeks to go. Am due on the 16th, so leave thinking our little one will be born near his/her due date.
Thursday, September 3: Have an awful headache all day Thursday and basically spend the day in bed. In hindsight, I guess I was saving up my energy!
Friday, September 4: go out for a long walk in the morning, as I am planning to do a bunch of baking. Think my water may be trickling, so call Brian, who says to call the dr to be on the safe side.
Call the dr, am told to pop in to the office to be checked. Am checked, get told water's not broken, but am sent to the hospital to have a better test.
Get to the hospital around 3 pm, am told water's not broken but to come back if anything changes.
Head home, relieved our little one is not arriving that day (I wanted a few more weeks to get some good sleep!). Head out to White Spot for dinner with Brian and am talking about how relieved I am that we still have a few more weeks. Order our food, are waiting for it to arrive, when GUSH! my water breaks right there. Freak out a little, waddle to the washroom, come out and tell Brian we need to leave. Wait outside while he explains to the waitress what has happened! We get our food to go :) and walk the 5ish minute walk home as we don't have a car.
Head to the hospital, get there about 8:30 pm... Am told yes, my water has in fast broken (duh!), and to head home and come back either when things are progressing, or if nothing happens, around noon the next day to talk about induction options.
Get home, have some dinner, and go to bed around 10 pm. Have started to feel very light contractions- not painful yet.
Last photo of just the two of us! Early labour:
Sleep until 11:30 pm, try to stay in bed as long as I can.
Saturday, September 5: get up around 2:30 am, cannot bear to lay in bed. All the pain is in my back- feel almost nothing in the front.
Come online, start timing contractions around 3:30 am. Coming every 4 or 5 mins, varying from 30- 45 seconds. Contractions are bearable, but all in the back. I stand through each which helps.
Brian gets up, we try to watch a movie, doesn't work as I now need him massaging my back through each contraction.
6 am, things are getting intense. I lay on my side in bed, back pain is excrutiating. Vomit several times. Brian gets the Gentle Giraffe soothing sounds stuffed animal we bought for our little one (haha) and we turn it to the waterfall sounds. I clutch it through each contraction.
Brian starts to time contractions. Coming every couple of minutes, lasting at least a minute long. Decides it is time to head to the hospital. Brian calls his mum to pick us up as I need him in the backseat rubbing my back.
Leave house around 7:30 am. Car ride is awful. Pull up at the hospital, have to stop outside and have Brian rub my back. Get to L&D, cannot believe they want me to stand to sign paperwork! Doula is there waiting for us. Have another contraction before being brought into our room. Nurses are looking at me funny and everyone is asking what that water sound is am I am still clutching my Gentle Giraffe. Funny to look back on that now!
Bit of a blur after that. Nurse wants to check me, has to wait while I have another contraction. At this point I just say "BACK!!" and Brian, and now our fantastic doula, put as much pressure as they physically can on my back.
Get checked, am 5 cm. Looks like we arrived at the hospital at a great time!
Try different positions, nothing helps the back. Try the shower at some point, doesn't work as Brian cannot fit in it with me. Start to say I cannot do this and what can they do to fix my back. Is 11:30 am and overhear that I am in transition. Am offered gas and am about to take it, when luckily Brian takes charge and says I am doing great and to wait until the next contraction. (I wanted to labour naturally.) By the next contraction I have forgotten about the gas.
Am told I am fully dilated. I think it's about 11:45 am. This urge overcomes me and I instinctively start to push.
Have lots of rest between contractions, but the back pain has never let up.
After about 1 1/2 hours of pushing (I think) I am told to reach down and pull my baby up!
Hold our baby to my chest, start sobbing, and cannot believe this baby has come out of me and that the pain is gone!! Brian checks and announces we have a girl! I tell everyone that her name is Lillian.
Lily is not taken from my chest- they do all the checks on her right there. She is perfect and we are so in love.
Our beautiful little girl arrived on September 5, eleven days early. I'd been to the doctor's that day and then was sent to the hospital, thinking my water may have broken. Both told me no, and that there didn't seem to be any signs of labour. Phew! Brian and I went out for dinner that night, partly me celebrating that our little one wasn't arriving early (I would have been happy to go overdue!) and what do you know it, we order our food and GUSH! My water breaks at the table!
Lillian Claire arrived at 1:05 pm the next afternoon. Here is a very condensed version of her arrival- when I have more time I will write a more detailed story for our baby girl!
Wednesday, September 2: had dr's appointment and dr thinks we have another 2 weeks to go. Am due on the 16th, so leave thinking our little one will be born near his/her due date.
Thursday, September 3: Have an awful headache all day Thursday and basically spend the day in bed. In hindsight, I guess I was saving up my energy!
Friday, September 4: go out for a long walk in the morning, as I am planning to do a bunch of baking. Think my water may be trickling, so call Brian, who says to call the dr to be on the safe side.
Call the dr, am told to pop in to the office to be checked. Am checked, get told water's not broken, but am sent to the hospital to have a better test.
Get to the hospital around 3 pm, am told water's not broken but to come back if anything changes.
Head home, relieved our little one is not arriving that day (I wanted a few more weeks to get some good sleep!). Head out to White Spot for dinner with Brian and am talking about how relieved I am that we still have a few more weeks. Order our food, are waiting for it to arrive, when GUSH! my water breaks right there. Freak out a little, waddle to the washroom, come out and tell Brian we need to leave. Wait outside while he explains to the waitress what has happened! We get our food to go :) and walk the 5ish minute walk home as we don't have a car.
Head to the hospital, get there about 8:30 pm... Am told yes, my water has in fast broken (duh!), and to head home and come back either when things are progressing, or if nothing happens, around noon the next day to talk about induction options.
Get home, have some dinner, and go to bed around 10 pm. Have started to feel very light contractions- not painful yet.
Last photo of just the two of us! Early labour:
Sleep until 11:30 pm, try to stay in bed as long as I can.
Saturday, September 5: get up around 2:30 am, cannot bear to lay in bed. All the pain is in my back- feel almost nothing in the front.
Come online, start timing contractions around 3:30 am. Coming every 4 or 5 mins, varying from 30- 45 seconds. Contractions are bearable, but all in the back. I stand through each which helps.
Brian gets up, we try to watch a movie, doesn't work as I now need him massaging my back through each contraction.
6 am, things are getting intense. I lay on my side in bed, back pain is excrutiating. Vomit several times. Brian gets the Gentle Giraffe soothing sounds stuffed animal we bought for our little one (haha) and we turn it to the waterfall sounds. I clutch it through each contraction.
Brian starts to time contractions. Coming every couple of minutes, lasting at least a minute long. Decides it is time to head to the hospital. Brian calls his mum to pick us up as I need him in the backseat rubbing my back.
Leave house around 7:30 am. Car ride is awful. Pull up at the hospital, have to stop outside and have Brian rub my back. Get to L&D, cannot believe they want me to stand to sign paperwork! Doula is there waiting for us. Have another contraction before being brought into our room. Nurses are looking at me funny and everyone is asking what that water sound is am I am still clutching my Gentle Giraffe. Funny to look back on that now!
Bit of a blur after that. Nurse wants to check me, has to wait while I have another contraction. At this point I just say "BACK!!" and Brian, and now our fantastic doula, put as much pressure as they physically can on my back.
Get checked, am 5 cm. Looks like we arrived at the hospital at a great time!
Try different positions, nothing helps the back. Try the shower at some point, doesn't work as Brian cannot fit in it with me. Start to say I cannot do this and what can they do to fix my back. Is 11:30 am and overhear that I am in transition. Am offered gas and am about to take it, when luckily Brian takes charge and says I am doing great and to wait until the next contraction. (I wanted to labour naturally.) By the next contraction I have forgotten about the gas.
Am told I am fully dilated. I think it's about 11:45 am. This urge overcomes me and I instinctively start to push.
Have lots of rest between contractions, but the back pain has never let up.
After about 1 1/2 hours of pushing (I think) I am told to reach down and pull my baby up!
Hold our baby to my chest, start sobbing, and cannot believe this baby has come out of me and that the pain is gone!! Brian checks and announces we have a girl! I tell everyone that her name is Lillian.
Lily is not taken from my chest- they do all the checks on her right there. She is perfect and we are so in love.
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